Tuesday, September 05, 2006

tues. 9/5

too tired to write. it's been a long day. highpoints: my great friend (and noach's cousin), toba, came over today with her kids. it was almost normal for me. to have a friend over and kids for tal to play with. felt great. also, my cousin, alice, wrote some really great words to me in some emails. that it is ok for me to be on auto-pilot now, she would do the same, it is understandable to put my needs aside right now, things will get better... she is right. anyway, a physical therapist came today to evaluate noach. said that noach doesn't need physical therapy right now - he is able to move around on his crutches, knows the correct exercises to do... he does need some occupational therapy for his arm - he still doesn't have feeling in 2 of his fingers and he needs exercises for increased movement. thinks that in a few months, noach will spend about a week at burke rehab to get a prosthetic, learn how to use it and then he will be able to come home again. that is after surgery and after all the other doctors do their thing. anyway... i have been looking for some books. bought noach a few on above-the-knee amputations. what i am searching for is a book to read to tal that deals with the loss of a limb. interestingly, i can't seem to find it anywhere. my dad also looked a bit and couldn't find it. so if you come across one, please let me know. if not, when my life stops whirling around, i hope to write a children's book about this. i know it is not a popular topic, but to the people it has happened to and their families, it makes sense. i read tal books about the zoo, school the dentist, potty-training... and i'd like to read her about this, too. maybe she can help me write a book. for those that know her, i kow you think she could write the book by herself. i'll bet she could. good night. thanks toba and alice for making today a little brighter.


Blogger AKAbestmom said...

Jo, I'm a friend of a friend of a friend. Wow you sure have been thru a lot these past few weeks. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles but on the other hand you need to respect the privacy of your husband and children. You mentioned in an earlier post that you "love therapy" maybe that would be the best place to discuss your families recovery.I'd be interested to know if your husband is aware of your postings. After someone comes so close to losing a loved one, one shouldn't brag about their childrens amazing qualities. After all most mothers feel the way you do about their children. Good luck and don't forget
al tivtach peh l'satan

8:39 AM  
Blogger akananunanu said...

I am in full agreement with you, bestmom. Loshen Hora takes many forms, including the undignified public dissemination of private family matters over the World Wide Web without the prior approval of the one being spoken of. As a friend of a friend of a neighbor of a friend, I believe that this blog is pissing people off and Jo should cease and desist. Children are to be cherished and protected, not exploited and held out to public opinion. Jo, we all love your husband and have known him for many many many many years. As his wife, you must act with dignity in hard times. Your first step towards this goal should be to close down this blog, and to keep your family's life private. My understanding is that your husband's family has been very good to you, so why not be good in return?

4:31 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

If we must have a public debate over what is dignified and what isn't, perhaps anonymous comments on a blog aren't the correct forum - it seems quite cowardly to me and certainly not constructive in any way. I am not in Jo's inner circle either, only a friend and acquaintance through our children, and it is precisely for that reason that it would never be appropriate for me to pass judgment or do anything more than to offer support for a family who has been through such a traumatic experience.

Many blessings to you and your family, Jo.

Julie Mosow

7:31 PM  
Blogger akananunanu said...

That's right, Julie, if you only know this family through the children, and do not have other ties, comments from you would not be appropriate. This tragedy has caused unknowable suffering for many people who have strong,loving and enduring ties to members of this family. All that is being asked is that private matters be kept private, and Jo should stop showcasing this private family matter. What is not constructive is to compound the sorrow and suffering of those close to this tragedy, in the name of healing herself. Nobody should be the subject of a blog, not Jo, not you, not me, and not the victim of a tragedy or his innocent children.

1:26 PM  
Blogger Cousin Al said...

To all who are troubled by Jo's writings: STOP READING THE BLOG!! The last thing Jo needs right now are nosey "friends of friends of neighbors (i.e., strangers)sitting in judgment of her. To those of us who care deeply but understand that Jo's free time is limited, the blog is a great means of keeping us up-to-date.

7:24 PM  
Blogger Jo Steiner said...

yes, my husband is fully aware of my postings. i read them to him daily. but thanks for your opinion. if you are really a "friend" of a friend, you would be happy this is helping me.

3:51 PM  
Blogger Jo Steiner said...

and what have i written thay is "lashon harah?" what should i be embarassed about. i am not telling family secrets, just sharing the pain and frustration we are going through. noach's family has been good to me and i have been good to them. but that's not what this is about. it is MY way of dealing what i am going through, MY way to update my friends so i don't have to return emails and phonecalls daily. if you don't agree with how i express myself, please don't continue to read it. thanks.

3:57 PM  
Blogger Jo Steiner said...

thanks, julie, for your support. i have sent this blogsite to my friends, not aquaintances of the family. no one knows what is going on in my immediate family but me. and noach reads my blogs and enjoys them. if anyone doesn't, please stop reading. and after all i've been through, you think i am going to let strangers' opinions stress me out???

4:00 PM  
Blogger Jo Steiner said...

and thanks, cousin al.

4:02 PM  
Blogger Jo Steiner said...

and if you don't like my blog, find something constructive to do with your time. if you are a friend of the family's, have you made them a meal? offered to help in any way? hired a maid service for them for the day? because that's what my friends have done. don't just sit at your computers and sit in judgment of me. go help the people you say you care so much about.

4:07 PM  
Blogger toba said...

Jo, you are an amazing woman. Thank you for taking the time, which you have so little of for yourself, to write about what you've been through over these painful weeks. It makes me feel so connected to you and, at the same time, inspires me to appreciate all of my blessings. As for the yentas, you should be ashamed of yourselves. no one's interested in your self-righteous babble.

8:08 PM  
Blogger cousin alice said...

Wow! I am totally dumbstruck by you "friends of friends of friends of neighbors". First, I can't believe you would even spend your time reading about the life of a stranger in crisis. But more than that, I can't believe you would actually criticize Jo for putting her heart out on the table for all of us who love her. Jo writes for healing, but she also writes to help those of us who love her (and Noach and Tal and Binyamin) also heal. Jo happens to be one of the most remarkable women I have ever known. She is an amazing wife, mother, friend, not to mention, humanitarian. If you knew Jo, you wouldn't need this explained to you. Take at look at your life. How many of you would have scores of friends at your side when a crisis hit your family? How many of you would have relatives across the country (and world) jump to your side in the face of tragedy? How many of you would have so many calls, e-mails, letters coming to you that you couldn't even keep up with responses? I can answer that for you, none of you. I certainly wouldn't have her support system. I haven't been the friend the Jo has always been. I don't know anybody that has been the kind of friend Jo is to all of her friends. Jo's friends all consider Jo their "best" friend. That isn't accidental. That is because Jo is there for everyone. Always. No questions asked. And for you who don't support Jo, you need to stop reading Jo's blog and go take care of your friends and your families. Learn something from Jo. Learn to lend a helping hand. Learn to give without asking for anything in return. Learn to listen instead of talking. Learn to love. Learn to be a friend. Learn to help a stranger. Learn tzedakah. Learn tolerance. Learn compassion. Learn understanding. And most of all, learn to be the person Jo already knows how to be every day of her life.

8:54 PM  

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