Friday, September 08, 2006

fri. the 8th, i think

sorry i haven't written in a few days. our days are pretty full and when i can finally sit downat 10:30/11:00 at night i am wiped out and just want to veg out in front of the tv. noach seems to be feeling a little better. he has two wonderful nurses who come 3 times a week to change his bandages. they are amazing. he continues to receive the heavy-duty IV antibiotics twice a day (i give them to him once in the morning and once at night). he tries not to take the painkillers because they don't make him feel that well. he does give in and take pain meds for the phantom pain which is terrible. he told me this morning that if you can imagine your tooth hurting from nerves that are exposed and how painful that can be, this is like that pain but on a gugantic wound. the pain is all the time, it just ranges in severity. so we've had a few friends visiting, our parents really helping out and tal and binyamin just brightening up our world. noach's birthday is 9/11 (monday) but he celebrates his Hebrew birthday instead, which is mon. night and tues. hard to think about celebrating our birthdays this month but we will try. tal and i will make a cake and i got noach a bunch of fun pajama pants and some dvd's. not typical of what i would choose for him but i guess our lives aren't typical these days. sometimes i just can't believe what we have been through and how long the road is ahead of us. i can't believe what my husband has to face every minute of every day. i can't imagine that a ride to work one morning can change your whole life. he is being as strong as he can, through the physical pain and through the emotional pain. but then, binyamin, who seems to be the happiest baby in the world, thank G-d, flashes his single tooth in his hundredth smile of the day and squeals in delight at the world. and then tal comes skipping into the room singing "i'm a little teapot" or a song she has made up and i know it will be ok. sometimes noach is a little cranky and moddy. sometimes i am a little cranky and overtired. but then we wake up and start a new day, like today. soon we will welcome Shabbat. tal and i will light the candles, noach will recite the kiddush and bless the kids (he faces east toward israel for ariel's blessing), eat home-made challah that our good friends dropped off (i haven't made challah since the accident) and we will sit down as a family. our wonderful rabbi, Rabbi Hochberg, visited yesterday. he made an interesting point to noach - what if this had happened 5 years ago? we wouldn't have been married or even together and tal and binyamin wouldn't have been born yet. i guess there is a reason this happened 4 weeks ago. i will never know the reason and will never really understand, but we will take each day as it comes. enjoy the weekend.

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