Friday, September 01, 2006

day 11:
today i took binyamin and tal to see noach for the first time since his accident. we got to the hospital and waited a bit because he was in x-ray. tal chose 2 get well balloons and a sponge bob for him in the hospital gift shop. then we met him in the patient lounge. it was an amazing visit. the kids loved seeing noach and noach, as you can imagine, just lit up. he was so happy to see them. tal shared cookies with him, showed him a “little people” doll she had who was sitting in a wheelchair, gave him the balloons, asked about his boo-boos… after that we went outside for a bit. it was so nice to be in the little courtyard with the kids, noach and some of the rest of his family. tal shared an ice cream bar with him, they told each other stories, it was just wonderful. actually, it couldn’t have gone better. when we left, tal kept saying that she wanted to stay with abba. i thought we could go to his room for a bit but we thought it would be better to leave when she was having a positive experience and this way, she will want to go back soon. i came home with the kids and dana. dan and i were supposed to go back in to see noach but i was so tired when i got home. i kept dozing off. i think the last 11 days hit me. noach told me to just stay home, which was great, because he is having his wrist surgery at about 8 in the morning and i am going to head back before that to see him before he goes into surgery. so i had the whole evening/night with the kids, dana and my parents. we had pizza on the deck and just talked and relaxed. anyway, it was a great day. the visit was “just what the doctor ordered” for noach and i had some time to rest and regroup. hope your day was filled with family, relaxation, laughter and love as well.

a long twelfth day…
today i spent 14 hours at the hospital. relaized on the way home that i didn’t even see the kids today. the only before this that i didn’t see tal was the day after i had binyamin and was in the hospital. come to think of it, i think i did see her that day. my mom spent the 14 hours i was at the hospital with the kids. she is a real trooper! noach had surgery today on his arm. he was supposed to have the surgery at 9 am, then 11, then 12:30 and i think they finally took him at 2 pm. he was nervous about it, but we all said tehillim, songs of david, before, during and after his surgery. they are supposed to heal and console. the surgery went well. he was in a lot of pain after but the arm is fixed, thank G-d. they put a metal plate and screws inside to fix the break. two of his fingers are still numb but the doctor thinks the feeling will come back in time. they also looked at his stump during surgery. one doctor said it isn’t infected but the skin doesn’t look great. another doctor said it is a little infected but the skin hasn’t changed much in the last few days. basically, we still just have to wait and see what will happen. i spent some time with noach before his surgery, lots of time with his parents during the prep and the surgery itself, time with noach in recovery and a few of us were in his room tonight helping him deal with the pain, giving him chicken soup, getting him comfortable and setting him up for the night. he likes to have lots of water, a siddur (prayer book), some snacks (which he never eats), his phone and his ipod by his bedside. i got home late and am tired. thank G-d the surgery went well. thank G-d he is ok after it. i wonder about the people we met at jacobi - the nice woman whose sister was in a fire. she hadn’t woken up when we transferred noach. i wonder if she is awake now. i hope she is ok. i hope tomorrow is a good day for noach. i hope to spend some time with the kids during the day and maybe go visit him in the evening, unless he wants me to bring them in again. whatever you do tomorrow, enjoy. and be safe.
today i didn’t get to the hospital until after 4. i spent the morning with tal and binyamin and then dana and i took the kids to the mall. i think it was the first time i have gone out to do something “norma;” since the accident. we dropped the kids off at my parents’ and then went to the hospital. noach was in a lot of pain from yesterday’s surgery on his arm. in addition, they are now doing surgery tomorrow on the stump. there are 3 possibilities during surgery. 1, they will clean all of the skin, get rid of any infection and do skin grafts from the other leg. 2, they will clean out all the infection, remove any dead skin and if the skin on the thigh that is left has any elasticity left, they will pull it over and attach it. 3, the skin on the stump will not be ready yet for the skin grafts so they will prepare it and then do the surgery next week. noach was sad about all this, as were we. but the first doctor had told us 13 days ago that it would be a miracle if he didn’t need surgery. i keep trying to tell noach that he should allow himself to be sad, to be discoyrage, to be happy, to be proud of himself. he should let himself feel whatever emotions he feels because that will help in the healing process. he received a few plants and a few fruit baskets. they are so thoughtful but he barely has any appetite and is in a small room. we give them to the nurses who really appreciate it. i keep wondering what i would do for someone i know in this situation - would i visit? would i call first? would i send flowers? fruit? a card? actually the cards mean a lot and i am collecting them. he is on so many meds that he reads them but doesn’t always remember them. we try to keep his room uncluttered because it is small, there are a few people in the room visiting at one time and he needs room for the necessities. i stayed at the hospital until 9 or so. kids were asleep when i got home but i kissed them both. i know he is having surgery tomorrow but we have no idea when. he is an “add on” so they are not sure what time it will be. i hate leaving him there at night. he truly hates the night there - he can’t sleep, has no one to help him, he’s lonely, in pain… but tomorrow is a new day. no matter what happened today, tomorrow is a fresh start. i will do everything i can to make it a good day for noach, my kids… try to do that for the people you love.
ariel and dana go back to israel tomorrow. it will be harder without them. they are here in the house, keeping me company and even when they don’t talk, they give me support just by being here. it was amazing to have them here during this dificult time. ariel may be back next week. next week my mom and mother-in-law go back to school as well so we will have to find a different routine, a new way to handle the hospital, the kids… but for now, i am just going to think about tomorrow and pray that all goes well in the surgery. good night.


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